Some More Fractured Sport Talk

20686954 – happy running baseball with big smile

There are few sporting seasons that are as eagerly anticipated as the opening of Baseball

Season.  Maybe it is because that is the signal for the Summer Season and we all look forward to Summer.

Yogi Berra, the legendary Yankee Catcher, was known for his clutch hits and his many World Series appearances, to those of us who can remember baseball as played in the 50’s and 60’s.  Now the people remember him more for his fractured speech.  Who hasn’t heard the famous “Yogi-isms” that he uttered while still a player: “It isn’t over until it’s over” or “Deja vu all over again.”

Yogi taped a Visa commercial recently with Yao Ming.  Yao Ming is the seven and a half foot basketball player who plays ’60s for the Houston Rockets.  He is a Chinese citizen.  Yogi was saying how he had enjoyed working with the seven and a half foot Center but added: “The only problem was that he don’t speak English too good.”

There have been literally hundreds of people that broadcast and comment on the games that are equally as entertaining as the unflappable Yogi.

In honor of the start of the Baseball Season, I have collected a few of these.  Here are some of them:

“The relief Pitcher is throwing up in the bullpen.” – Ken Brett

“Tony Gwynn has been named player of the year for April.” – Ralph Kiner

“Leo has been competing with a pulled stomach muscle showing a lot of guts.” – Jim McKay

“A bunch of epitaphs are coming out of the mouth of John Rocker.” – Jose Vargas

“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. – Terry Venables

“Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.” – David Acfield

“A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz.” – Humphrey Bogart

“Trying to hit Phil Niekro was like trying to eat Jello with chopsticks.” – Bobby Murcer

“Good pitching will always stop good hitting, and vise-versa.” – Casey Stengal

“Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.” – Casey Stengal

“You have to have a Catcher or you will have a lot of passed balls.” – Casey Stengal

“I watch a lot of baseball on the radio.” – Gerald Ford

The baseball season doesn’t have a monopoly on stupid quotes about some other sports.  Here are some of the best:

“Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.” – Doug Collins

“I’m not sure what his points are, but without knowing what his points are, I would say he has some good points.” – John McEnroe

“That is one of the best sets I have ever seen Tomas Zib play – Although I should preface that by saying I haven’t seen him play before.” – John McEnroe

“Ardiles strokes the ball like its’ part of his own anatomy” – Jimmy Magee

“They will be watching Mike Tyson with a fine-tooth comb from now on.” – Len Boros

“I think he got the stick in the nose.  He broke his nose earlier, and it looks as though it’s the same nose that he injured before.” -Maurice Courture

“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical.” – Murray Walker

“Sure there have been other injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious.” – Alan Mintor

“What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football?” -Stuart Hall

Nobody fractures the English language like sports announcers.  I think that it is because their only training is as famous players – not as linguists.

I leave you with one other “Yogi-ism,” and this is one of my all-time favorites.  When the Yankees won the 1961 World Series, they were invited to the White House, and Yogi wore a new white linen suit.  When first lady Jacqueline Kennedy commented on the suit, she said: “Oh Yogi, you look so cool in that suit!”  To which Yogi replied: “Thanks, you don’t look so hot yourself.”

But, as Yogi maintains: “I didn’t really say all the things I said.”

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