It was a banner week for my bride, Brunhilde the Taskmaster. First, she got a shipment of kitchen gadgets and then she located something that she thought she had lost.
First, my Brunhilde has a soft spot for kitchen gadgets and loves to shop for a bargain. Unfortunately, what she sometimes refers to as a bargain – I refer to as junk. This latest shipment included an apparatus that is intended to grab things that are out of one’s reach. It has something resembling a crab claw with a handle on the other end, which, they advertise as “easily extending your reach.”
Brunhilde has tried it several times. It works as well as if you took a broom handle, ran it across the cupboard and tried to catch something on the way down.
This is not the “Sharper Image” that Brunhilde is ordering from. They have things like vinyl seat covers, bacon savers, inflatable hangers, a lighted magnifying glass, pocket lint brushes, Santa suits for dogs and metal bookmarkers.
The things that Brunhilde has that I think are truly useful you could count on one hand of a careless shop teacher. She gets about one catalog for these things about every week. When she asks me what I think of her latest order, I always speak the truth – but usually leave immediately after that. The gadgets that Brunhilde buys are as oversold as the pocket fisherman and just about as useful.
But Brunhilde is as happy as a gopher in soft dirt when her packages arrive and I suppose I should be tickled. She could be ordering from Nieman-Marcus.
As a bonus, she located something that was lost last month. It was in her closet. I wasn’t surprised when she would lose track of things that are in her closet. Her closet is much like her purse. It resembles a Moroccan flea market. Anything that is thrown into Brunhilde’s closet is harder to find than a sumo wrestler’s belly button. Daniel Boone wouldn’t be able to find it.
Allow me to give you a final detail. The “thing” that she put in her closet close to her birthday was an Amaryllis bulb, in a small pot of soil and mulch. When she found it, about a month later, it was an actual plant. It stood about eighteen inches tall. And she overlooked it! How can anyone overlook a plant that has grown to about eighteen inches tall?
Brunhilde told me that it was funny. I told her that my sense of humor is not that weird. I said to her that anything in our closet that could be the starter set of a jungle was not all right with me.
Still, whatever pleases Brunhilde; just tickles me plumb to death. Whether it be a shipment of her gadgets or her turning the closet into a jungle. All in all; I have to get along with her. How do you think she puts up with me.