Murphy, You’re in Charge

I think that when God was finished creating the earth and man in particular, he said: “OK, Murphy, you’re in charge!”

How else can we explain the many things that happen to us on a daily basis that frustrated us? Case in point: A button never falls off your shirt unless it’s your last clean shirt and you’re late for a meeting. And who hasn’t had a shoelace break when that is the one pair of shoes you want to wear and you’re in a hurry. I just remembered that is why I wear loafers.

Another example: have you notice that no matter when you turn your television on, it is always in the middle of a commercial? Invariably it is true, right? I am going to give you a list of things that proves that Murphy, is indeed, in charge.

  • It takes a blown fuse to discover the batteries in the flashlight are dead
  • Extension cords spend their spare time in the garage tangling themselves.
  • If someone has to go to the bathroom during a concert, it will never be the person on the aisle.
  • A dog will always want to be on the other side of the door.
  • Any tool taken up the ladder with you will fall before the job is done.
  • No time is really convenient for a meeting.
  • Never trust a skinny cook to prepare your meal.
  • Never go mountain climbing with a beneficiary.
  • There is no such thing as a child-proof bottle.
  • If someone gives you directions that include “you can miss it,” you will.
  • Minutes pass more slowly on the outside of the bathroom door.
  • Whatever the other guy orders at a restaurant, it looks better than yours.
  • If you miss a meeting, you will be assigned to work committee.
  • Congress never passes a law that they are subject to.
  • Anyplace that needs a bouncer isn’t worth going into.
  • Birds make the most noise at dawn when you are trying to get just a little more sleep.
  • No matter how bad a round of golf you play, there will be one stroke so perfect, so on target, and gratifying that you will come back to play again.
  • Any time a man says that game is silly or childish is probably something his family can beat him at.
  • When somebody says: “it’s not the money,”  it’s the money.
  • The man who blames fate, weather, grounds, and equipment for eight bad holes of but will feel personally responsible for a hole in one.

2 thoughts on “Murphy, You’re in Charge

  1. You are so right! It does sometimes seem like Murphy could be at the helm. I could relate to may of the items on your list.


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