Murphy, You’re in Charge

I think that when God was finished creating the earth and man in particular, he said: “OK, Murphy, you’re in charge!”

How else can we explain the many things that happen to us on a daily basis that frustrated us? Case in point: A button never falls off your shirt unless it’s your last clean shirt and you’re late for a meeting. And who hasn’t had a shoelace break when that is the one pair of shoes you want to wear and you’re in a hurry. I just remembered that is why I wear loafers.

Another example: have you notice that no matter when you turn your television on, it is always in the middle of a commercial? Invariably it is true, right? I am going to give you a list of things that proves that Murphy, is indeed, in charge.

  • It takes a blown fuse to discover the batteries in the flashlight are dead
  • Extension cords spend their spare time in the garage tangling themselves.
  • If someone has to go to the bathroom during a concert, it will never be the person on the aisle.
  • A dog will always want to be on the other side of the door.
  • Any tool taken up the ladder with you will fall before the job is done.
  • No time is really convenient for a meeting.
  • Never trust a skinny cook to prepare your meal.
  • Never go mountain climbing with a beneficiary.
  • There is no such thing as a child-proof bottle.
  • If someone gives you directions that include “you can miss it,” you will.
  • Minutes pass more slowly on the outside of the bathroom door.
  • Whatever the other guy orders at a restaurant, it looks better than yours.
  • If you miss a meeting, you will be assigned to work committee.
  • Congress never passes a law that they are subject to.
  • Anyplace that needs a bouncer isn’t worth going into.
  • Birds make the most noise at dawn when you are trying to get just a little more sleep.
  • No matter how bad a round of golf you play, there will be one stroke so perfect, so on target, and gratifying that you will come back to play again.
  • Any time a man says that game is silly or childish is probably something his family can beat him at.
  • When somebody says: “it’s not the money,”  it’s the money.
  • The man who blames fate, weather, grounds, and equipment for eight bad holes of but will feel personally responsible for a hole in one.

2 thoughts on “Murphy, You’re in Charge

  1. You are so right! It does sometimes seem like Murphy could be at the helm. I could relate to may of the items on your list.

    Like

    1. There are not many who don’t have some of those things in common. I, sadly have all of them in common. How do you suppose I could compile such a list. LOL

      Like

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