If you have tuned into my website before, you are no longer a stranger to Miss Pony Tail. In review and for those of you are 1st timers at my website, I will tell you that Miss Pony Tail had my undivided attention since the second grade. It was true puppy love, kids fall with so much emotion that nothing is more real to a kid with a bad case of puppy love. I went through the entire grade school at old Bob Callies elementary with that same crush on Miss Pony Tail.
I remember very clearly a Valentine’s day party in the 4th or 5th grade. By February there had been about 5 ½ months of school already in the school year, not to mention that I had a crush on her for three plus years already! But, I was feeling a bit bolder now and instead of just looking, I wanted her to notice me too. We decorated Valentine’s boxes or envelopes and the teacher, in an effort to make sure that no one feels bad, decreed that if we were going to participate in giving Valentines, that every student had to give every other student a Valentine. It was a good rule because it didn’t give the more popular children any more than those that were less popular.
My family was not poor, but we were lower middle class and didn’t have much disposable income. So my mother got me a packet of really cheap, generic cards. I wasn’t too worried about 28-30 other cards that I had to put my name on, but I wanted something special for that special girl. This is one of my indelible memories, I looked through the whole pack and I only found one that was printed with the words: “I love you.” I didn’t care what else it said and the card was not that memorable in any other way. But it said: I love you.
But I wasn’t done. On the back, put my initials over hers and drew a big heart around it. OK, I said I was bolder, but I thought that being this was my first overture towards her, I didn’t want it to be too over the top. Then it would hurt even more if she rejected me or laughed at my awkward attempts to be a junior Casanova. So I erased it.
I swear I wore out 2 gum erasers but a slight shade of that message shown through. I remember when she opened it, I was holding my breath, and she said when she turned it over to see who sent it: “What’s the matter? Did you get cold feet?” Well, I am sure I turned 17 shades of red and pink. And it was such an ambiguous statement that I didn’t know whether she was making fun, or ridiculing me, or whether it was a good thing. One thing I know for sure was that I likely didn’t respond with a witty, or clever answer.
But I think for me, that was when the ice was broken. I had decided that she was not guilty of an effort to ridicule. She had smiled, and after thinking and mulling it over for nearly a week, (we young kids do not make decisions when it comes to affairs of the heart in haste), I determined that it was not a “bitchy” or a scornful smile. I took it as a warm smile. So then, I did not only want to look at her, but I wanted her to look back. It took a while, but Miss Pony Tail eventually look back for a while.