Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. The last thing I want to do is hurt you … but it’s still on my list. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. War does not determine who is right, only who is left. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency, notify …” I wrote down “a doctor.” To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. You are never too old to learn something stupid. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure

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